Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Memory Lane

The last few days, I've been thinking about someone who was very special to me many years ago. I've thought of him, occasionally, over the years... wondering how he's doing in life and if he has found happiness. The last I heard, he was married and living a happy life.

Time marches on. It doesn't seem like it was that many years ago that I was head over heels in love with him. I remember our time together (20+ years ago) as if it were yesterday. I remember how much we loved each other. The way he would stare seemingly in to my soul, just before we kissed, and oh how it sent shivers up my spine when he looked at me that way. The way he made me laugh. I thought we'd be together forever. God, how I loved him. It was deeply intense.

But, one disasterous event tore our relationship apart. And after that, it was never the same between us. We tried, but we just could not get past it. It is an event that he and I alone share, and one that will remain with the both of us forever.

We stayed in touch periodically for several years after we broke up. As it happens in life, we eventually lost touch. The last time I ever heard from him, he'd just returned from Desert Storm (Oh, he was one damn handsome Marine). He called to say he'd made it back to the States and was driving from California to Georgia. I'd sent him a couple of care packages, and we corresponded some, while he was deployed. Although our time together was over, and we were just friends at that point, I thought of him often, and hoped he would return home safe to his family.

During the time we were keeping in touch, while he was deployed, I asked him to be safe and think of me before he left out for the desert. The result of that statement was a poem from him that I unexpectedly received in the mail. I have kept that poem all these years, and I still remember almost all of the words to it.

I've never shared it with anyone.... ever. Not another soul has read it.

I can still see the paper it's written on, his handwriting. Neatly folded up in the original envelope it arrived in. It lived in my purse for probably 10 years, until it began to wear out. The creases tattered from opening/folding it for so many years. I packed it away for safe keeping when I moved back to Georgia, and now I can't find it -- and I'm amazed at how upset I am at this very moment that I cannot find my poem. Amazed at how something so small can make such an impact on someone's life, memories. My house is now a disaster area. I have torn through the "memories" boxes, the "important paperwork" boxes, and even the "junk drawer" that everyone has in their kitchen. And I cannot find it. And I know it's here. I'll find it.

Perhaps I will share it with you then. Perhaps not.

Until then, I want you all to remember something: Keep all your memories close to your heart. When it's over, of course you want to forget him. But don't. And don't forget the memories. Because many years from now, you'll look back at that letter, or poem, or picture, and remember the sweet, tender, touching moments that you shared together. And it will make you smile.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please feel free to leave a comment!